我的承诺

最近的生活真的超超超无聊！虽然每天都在忙但心情总是空荡荡的，好空虚哦！我很不喜欢这种感觉。它就像一条很粗大的绳子把我捆绑在一个黑暗的空间，让我看不见什么是快乐，让我不能在热闹的人群中拥有一丝感觉，让我对任何事情都不能掀起一股动力。

现在的我就像活在一个没有灵魂的身躯，每天都在重复同样的事情，做一样的事。开始觉得自己慢慢的变得越来越悲观。是周围的人和事情让我变得如此吗？我到底缺乏了什么？是什么让我变得越来越失去自我？是什么让我变得越来越空虚？

自尊心强的我一直都不认为爱情是全部，更不认为只有爱情才可以填满空虚的心灵。我的原则就是永远都不会因为寂寞而爱，也不会因为空虚而选择用爱情来解决。是我要求太高了吗？我不认为。
为了让我现在的生活变得有意义，我打算用快来临的假期来平衡我的心情。我答应自己一定要找回我失去的东西，虽然我不懂到底我失去了什么，但我会试着找它回来。我要我的笑容是发自内心而笑，而且还是大声笑的那种。

再多三天我就熬过了这个学期。虽然放假后学习的压力还会回来，但这是每个大学生必经的问题，一定要把它视为平常，不要退缩。现在的我不能想象放假后我会遇到什么更大的问题。可能会不及格？还是会出现奇迹让我平安地度过？上天会可怜我让我过了这一个难关吗？我真的不能想象也不敢去想。

真的不能再让自己想太多了。是时候让自己的头脑在三天后休息。突然有一句话很适合用在现在的情况，虽然平时的我不会认同这句话，但现在的我不得不说“一切让它顺其之然吧”。是的，想太多也没用，到时自然会有结果。我一定要坚持！这是我给我自己的承诺。一定要毕业！加油！

十一月宝贝

身为你的好朋友，老实说我并没有给予你什么感动的事情，也没有一直在你开心和失落时出现。当然，你在我的心目中一直是有地位的。至少在高中时我们经历的事情也不少，当然其中也有包含我们一班姐妹“出生入死“的经历（好像有点夸张，哈哈！），也少不了一起开心大笑的时光。认识你是在我初二的时候，那时我们俩都是通过玉珊认识的，也可以说没有她我们就不会成为一班好朋友。热情的我遇上冰冷的你时常让我碰钉子。刚开始我不懂你会不习惯我的热情，但之后我在去年的中秋节知道了你一直以来都不习惯我对你过于友好的方式，真的让我好伤心。但没关系，至少因为那天以后我又了解你多一点了，友谊就是这样建立回来的，不是吗？没有人一出生就会一百巴仙了解另一个人。很对不起你的生日我没能出席，但我还是以最真诚的方式来祝福你，“二十一岁生日快乐”。希望你和他的幸福可以蔓延到永远，每天都是带着欢笑和快乐。另外我也希望我们一般姐妹淘可以继续友好直到让我们的小孩也一起做朋友（哈哈，想太远了）。再次真心地告诉我很重视的你，在快要来临的二十一岁生日：

"生日快乐"

我该如何选择？

今天的我，又哭了。在一个没有人的房间里，一个人哭泣。我可以向谁倾诉？谁又可以拍拍胸口的告诉我“没问题，你只要专心的上学，学费和生活费都不是问题。”

我的经济彻底的崩溃了。到处去向人借钱一直都是我最恨的事，即使向家人讨钱也一样。你知道当我在面临没有经济支助的日子是如何过的吗？是很无助但又非得坚持，是疲累但又非得继续。每一刻都在提醒自己要省着用，就连吃饭也要吃最便宜的，买菜也要买最便宜的，而且还只能让自己买青菜，尽量不要买肉吃。

大多数的我都一个人在吃饭。一个人吃饭是很寂寞的。面对一盘热腾腾的饭菜和冷冷的空气，这种日子我过了多久？为何我不要和别人吃饭？和别人吃饭实在太花金钱和时间了。外面一盘饭最少要花5块钱，长期的吃我根本活不下去，而在家煮饭成了我唯一的选择。面对一大堆功课的我更本没精力和别人在吃饭时多谈，只想快点填饱肚子继续做功课。

上课已经很累了，放学还要面对一大堆做不完的功课。一天二十四个小时都用在吃饭，睡觉，上课，和做功课。就连离我最靠近的室友都没什么时间说话。好不容易到了放假，根本不能尽情地玩，还得去做工赚取生活费。这样的生活你能了解吗？我很累了，真的很累了。。。

昨天我生病了。长期的煎熬让我的坚持慢慢地变得越来越脆弱。原本一开始打算要完成大学文凭的我开始动摇了。每一次选择要放弃的时候都是梦玥坚持的不让我离开。是她一直地告诉我我是可以的，是她一次又一次的鼓励我不要放弃。但，昨天的我真的不行了。精神不稳定的我再加上身体不舒服，让我一阵个晚上都做不了作业，只能躺在床上。

没有英文背景的我一直都比别人慢一拍，每次做作业的时候都是特别的吃力和难熬。昨天，我没来得及交作业。这份作业占有百分之四十。我知道我这一科一定会不及格，若这一科不及格就可以定了我大学生的生涯。我的学费是靠政府借回来的，若其中有一科不及格政府就会停止贷款给我，没有了学费我只能停学。好不容易完成了一份作业但又交不了的心情你了解吗？

虽然是一份不完整的作业，可能内容也很烂，但至少我在带着生病的状态之下完成了。昨晚，我异常的平静，可能一个人到达了极限就会变得如此。身边的梦玥显露出一份为我担忧的心情。我们俩从大学一直都在互相鼓励和支持，我知道一旦我走了她就会受到很大的打击。一个人的她会是如何继续？

虽然我知道这一科一定会不及格，但我还是会继续完成我这个学期，这样一来对自己和梦玥都有一个交代。现在的我根本看不到前方。虽然情况看起来只有停学的一条路，但我又甘心吗？付出了那么多努力的我是应该要有这样的结果吗？

还剩一个学期就可以得到了一个文凭，没有政府贷款的我根本继续不了。我该怎么办？向家人要钱吗？面对着退休的母亲和事业失败的父亲，我该如何开口？面对着正在半工读的大姐，筹备着婚礼的二姐，刚找到工作的哥哥，我该如何开口？我真的很无奈。我，该继续吗？放弃也会是一个好的选择吗？我该如何选择？

我难过

最近的我不懂发生了什么事情，总是特别忧愁，特别不快乐。尤其是这几天的想法过分地偏激，思想开始不平衡，心中开始出现了恨！恨我现在一切的遭遇和事情，恨我的无能，恨我的无助! 我想活在一个假的空间，身边的一切都是完美的。有完美的家人，完美的朋友，和完美的伴侣，每天都活在愉快之中，没有一刻是不快乐的。很可惜，现实中的我是没有任何选择的余地。越来越多事情发生在我懂事后，不开心远远多过开心的。这几天我哭了，原因不详。是生活的压力压得我喘不过气来吗？面对着一份又一份的作业，一次又一次地拒绝的我应有的娱乐，我开心吗？我以为我会快乐每当我和一班朋友出来聚会，大家开心地谈天说地会是我觉得最幸福的事。但我开始发现这种感觉不知在什么时候开始消失了，就像空气一样的消失了，不知什么时候会再出现。是我的孤独蒙蔽了我身边一切快乐的事吗？我到底少了什么？家庭？友情？还是爱情？我想我没有一样是圆满的。谁可以给我支持？我想只有我自己。是我的问题吗？是我没能力让我身边的人爱护我吗？是我的坚强让每个人认为我不用被保护反而可以去保护别人。错了，一切都错了。事实中的我没有那么坚强，我会变得坚强是被逼出来的，我没得选择。我应该责怪我的父母不能给我一个家的感觉吗？深刻的回忆一直都刻在我的心里面，那冰冰的地板让我好空虚，好冷。家，是冷的吗？

说真的我以为我一生中会有一班永远分不散的姐妹淘，大家都了解对方，不会有秘密和距离。当然这是不可能的，人与人之间一定会产生不满，有人的地方就会有摩擦，就算最亲的人也一样。当姐妹淘出现了另外一半，很自然的一个家庭会变得越来越大，而男友是最好的保护所。最重要的是那幸福的感觉会让人情不自禁地对男友寸步不离，即使离开了也会很快地回到他身边。单身的我就需要自救，知道如何避免被无心的冷落，让自己习惯这一切是正常的。我从来都不会让我的朋友在男友和朋友之间选择一位，因为换成是我也不能做出选择。唯一的方法就是让自己在适当时加入他们。当然在加入的过程也要看双方面的配合。若对方和对方的男友都是较细心的人，自己当然会是被爱护的那位。相反地，若对方不太细心而男友也较内向，距离就会产生。

女生是很需要被人保护的。对我而言，永远不要让身边的女生朋友单独的离开，不要因为自己的懒惰而让她一个人走，除非是她自己愿意提出的。当她要一个人下车买东西，请你不要待在车上，除非她要你留在车上。当她忘了拿东西，请陪她一起走回去拿。当她一个人走在你后面，请让她跟你一起走。当她手上拿着东西而你两手空空，请帮她分担。小小的动作就能维持一段友谊。心思不是透过一个特别的日子表达你对她有多在乎，而是语言上的慰问和个人小小的动作就能看得出这段友谊到底是表面的还得实在的。若对方没能发现你小小的关怀而认为你不重视她这位朋友，请让她知到真正的友谊不是靠吃喝玩乐建立回来的，而是靠对方的细心和体谅。每个人都会交朋友，一个名字就可以认识对方了。但，愿意学习维持朋友关系的人又有多少？可以无言地对你做出适当的关怀又有多少个？没有人是一百巴仙的朋友，但愿意学习和给予对方学习就是一份真诚的友谊。不要过份包容对方的不足而自己在背后不快，让对方知道你的感受也让她尽可能对你像你对她一样。这样的友谊才能平衡和继续生长。嘲笑对方不再是证明我们的友谊有多深。若你在乎她，请多说好话让她快乐。若你在乎她，请在其他人都在嘲笑她时保护她。若你在乎她，请不要为难她，让她做她可以做到的事，勉强的答应只会带来临时的爽约。

爱情是我一直没能认真体验的东西。说真的我没有对过一个男生爱到死心塌地的程度，不知那感觉会是如何的，我不能想象。到底是我身边的人还是我个人的问题，每一段爱情只能停留在暧昧当中。没有开始当然会没有结束，而分手的痛苦当然不会存在。但，我有爱过吗？我想没有。但愿有一天我会为某某人开心大笑，也为他伤心痛苦，我想这就是喜欢一个人的感觉吧。心中的实在感会一直地被他填满，每想到他就会有种幸福的感觉。你的爱情是这样吗？虽然我现在的状况是蛮糟糕的，但我相信这一切是暂时而已，不会永久。一个温馨的鼓力和支持就是我最大的动力。请让我坚持下去，不要放弃。好吗？

I want my optimistic back!

When was the last time I laugh out loud? I can't remember. I don't like rainy day at all when I am awake. The dark sky spoiled my mood and I will become moody for the day. The raining so heavy now, I am wondering when will it stop so I can feel better. Too much pressure in my degree program. The lecturer keeps emphasising that my English needs more improvement. It has to be a long way to take though. The process is not that easy. I need encouragement most of the time to make sure I can proceed. It is already half way now and I can't give up easily. I always wonder how others can be so relaxed for their study. Maybe I didn't knew that they are having a hard time too? I don't know. Next year June, that will be the important day to prove my success, my honor and my proud! "Going to finish soon", this is the the phrase to make me motivated! Even though I sacrificed a lot of fun times with my family and friends but I know it will be worth when I am standing on the stage and dressing with my gown. Sweet...

What a relax day for me

I know I shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't waste my precious day to do nothing and kept sleeping at the whole afternoon. But, I did it. I am guilty now but my physical don't want to act, it just want to stay in the comfortable status. Now is 1.53 at the midnight, why I can still blogging instead of begin reading my reader and start to do my weekly journal? I am just lazy, I know I shouldn't... But I am doing it. Please, please, please save me from the addiction of procrastinate!

Time to write

Well, I have been abandoned my blog such a long time. Now is the time to write some craps. I will act as an extra tomorrow in Double Vision. My character would be a nurse and one dialogue per scene(3 scenes in total). Even though I had some experiences on shooting but still nervous. I am not used to work as front stage but rather backstage such as production team. I am afraid when people look at me while shooting, that's why working as backstage always good and comfortable without gaze by people most of the time.

However, the working period for tomorrow will be quite long where it may take me half of a day to stay. The location will be at Kuchai Lama (not sure where is it so I'll go with the team). Just in case that I won't feel bored while waiting others shooting, I will bring along my MP3 and books. I think it is necessary for me now to keep practicing in front of the mirror to make sure I can perform well in front of the camera. In fact, I only very few scenes compare with the other important characters, I shouldn't be afraid of it. But now, I feel nervous like shit!

Okay, time to go. Last sentence here. I am wondering why those super stars can act damn natural in anytime and anywhere? Where is their confidence comes from?

A worse clubbing night again...

I like R&B musics, especially with loud volume and high beat! My heart will follow the music beats and my body start to dance unconsciously, the feeling is just great! Can you imagine it? Sorry if my description is not detail enough due to my poor English, still improving though.

Last Saturday I and my besties went to a night club nearby The Curve. Actually I not really want to go but one of my besties asked me to accompany her and I felt hard to reject. Things happened as what I expected-boring. We arrived there around 12 something at the mid night. Since it was during weekend, definitely the place was being crowded and full of crazy clubbing guys.

The day was my friend's friend birthday. He asked my bestie to join the celebration and my bestie asked me and others accompany her. Since I am not really close with the birthday guy, I didn't talk much with him. The noisy place caused me not even able to give a normal birthday greet politely. We separated in two groups, one is the birthday guy's group, the other one is our girl's group. We found a corner -a small space with fresh air- then enjoy our girl's clubbing time.*laugh* The day was the shortest time I stayed at a night club- only one and half hour I guess.

Anyway, I won't think back any second of the boring night but looking forward to my July baby's birthday. She has been complaint that July is her bad month but I hope to give her a wonderful July birthday as possible as I can. I am not sure whether things will be going smooth on that day but I will try my best to make it happen in her life. Just want to let her know that I really care about her and always willing to bring laughter to her with full of my heart. Love her always.

No title

I think the most enjoy moment in my day is listening my favorite songs while typing out things I want to share with my readers. The feeling is so relax and good .Actually I have no topic to share today, just type for nothing and crap around. Fun? Yeah it is quit fun. Lolx...

~The End~

Am I too sensitive?

Before that I would like to let my baby girls know that I really happy to hear some good news from them that they are passing their days so well.

Yesterday I went to Cheras(a cafe nearby Hong Lok) with one of my girl friend and accompany her to yam cha with her other new friends. Seriously I not really feel comfortable in the drink session where most of them I don't really know.

I would rather make new friends in church or Buddhist campaign where most of them are definitely not bad people. And the location is guaranteed safe to stay.

Some bad feeling pop up in my mind when I know that there are 9 more persons to join and I am not really prepare yet to make friends with this bunch of new fellows. The condition linked me to think about gang rape and I guess that the reason why those victims fallen in the trick due to their unawareness attitude with strangers.

Even though there are two girls joined in the group but I still worry about our secure and always keep my eye on my belongings and drink. I believe that a good condition for me to make new friends is the number of people I know must more than the strangers.

I realised that most of the guys are car mechanic(I saw some black oil stain on their fingers tip) but we seldom talk to each other rather than playing cards and game.

Finally, we took 3 hours to finish the drink session and I got home safely. Phew... Since we didn't drive yesterday and her new friend is the one fetched us but still I called my friend to make sure she reached home safely.

I think I have to take longer time to open my heart to join this big bunch of new fellows even though they might not those bad persons I thought at the first place. By the way, next Monday I have to accompany this friend to join the other drink session with her primary school mates.

My feeling now is so contradicting where I really glad that she begins to walk out from her hurt but in the other hand I worry she might meet bad fellows. Anyway, I will keep my eye on her to make sure she can meet good friends and try to protect her from bad incidents.

Last sentence to conclude my post, I am just a typical girl and I will feel tired as well. Is there anyone willing to protect me when I feel helpless? If yes, please do it to me...

Kittens in the house

Guess what! We are having 3 new members in the house. Kittens!

Last week my housemate who staying in my next door told us that he saw the kittens in the roadside while me and my the other two housemate going out.

Since my lovely housemate Yuritna is an extreme pets lover then for sure she want to take them home to foster and prevent them to die in accident from outside.

And definitely I and Roy must support her and let her to do so even though we are not that passion to keep new members in the house.

By the way, it is good to protect those little kitties also because they are lack of ability for self-protection so we as the leader of animals must give them a hand.

However, here is the problem where we have to feed those little kittens some milk manually three times per day.

I having an assignment due on next Wednesday so I need more time to focus rather than deal with those little kitties.

So far Yuritna is the one responsible to take care them but she is leaving on this Thursday then back home 5 days after.

Therefore, I and Roy have to take turns to feed them.

Hopefully I can manage those little kitties well until my lovely Yuritna come back.

*Sigh*

Anyway, I really welcome the three new members to join in our family! swt...

Paintball competition

Last Friday I went to a paintball game in Tanamerah (I don't know where is that place actually) with my coursemates and Engineering & IT students which organised by KDU. I am the lucky one since the game is only allowed for year 1 & 2 students to join but not for final year students. There has no admission fee to charge for student and it's all paid by KDU. We departed from KDU around 9.30 something morning with four buses. However, I asked two of my housemates to join together since there has some empty slots and they get the permission by my lecturer finally, yeah! Here are some pictures to show before we started to play the game.

Going to fight for Malaysia, lol!

We often depend on each other while fighting for assignments and exams!

They are the ones accompany me most during my study life in PJ.

This is the paint marker(colour bullet) which caused me a lot of bruises!

I found quite confused to recognise the enemies because we don't even has a label to differentiate the team. We are all wearing masks and just shot each other in the jungle. I really wonder if I get to shot one of my enemies. Lol. Anyway, the game is not really reach my expectation. It was fun to me but not very fun. I keep hiding behind the tree and I felt myself as a loser of it. Next time for sure I will shot my enemies face to face instead of hide at a side (If there has once more chance to let me play the game again).

The one I care

To my babe+darling+love+sister+bestie+accompany:

Sorry I couldn't have the same feeling with you or sun either because I never experience it and I hardly to imagine how hurt it could be.

You are not the one always want to fully express your emotion and I merely can understand your sadness through my prediction.

However, no matter how hurt are you, please remember you will never be alone.

You can cry, shout, angry, disappoint, sad and we are the people to accompany you passing those times.

Just wanna to tell you, he can be one of those, but he can never be the only one appear in your life. Get it?

So, just go ahead release you sadness and we will be there for you when you need us (or even you didn't need I also will show up, lol).

Don't sad too long period ya, because your hurt reflects my feeling also which means that how long you sad reflects the time I become down.

You happy, I happy. You sad I laugh!

Opss, sorry wrong type. It should be this.

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YOU HURT

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"I EVEN HURT MORE"

I always respect your decision because I believe you can handle it by yourself in relationship.

So, just take take your time to do things you like and I love you always as I do everyday.

Cheer babe! :P

Debt

I have a strong feeling that my future will be full of debt and expectation.

My mum came and visit me just now, she understand I has been passing my day harder without income.

And she intended to give some pocket money, but I rejected to receive.

I no longer as a baby or child, I am adult and my parent shouldn't have any responsibility to carry me anymore.

It is oppose my self-principle if I take the money.

But the point is, my bank account left not much amount for me to spend on the following months, how could I survive?

Finally, I received the money as a loan from her. I will pay back in my future time while I have the ability to earn income.

After she left, I feel like a huge pressure on my shoulder and I hard to breath.

I so tired to have such a much debt to my sister, parent and ptptn.

I am not sure how valuable a certificate in society, I wonder is it really worth for me to sacrificed my time, money and energy to invest on my education?

Since I not so sure how my future will be, what if the certificate is useless and it couldn't help me to get a better job in future?

I guess it will be a real smash on my face if I found out I have no difference with a fresh SPM or diploma graduate.

Please, I need to finish my study smoothly.

I couldn't receive any more stress and bad news.

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* One more point to add on, I just renewed my driving licence yesterday, happy! :P *

Driving license expiry

Guess what!?

My license has been expired about half year and I never realized that!

I not even know driving license got the expiry date!

Does anyone know that?

Well, my friend told me there have a certain period to renew license after it expired.

If over the period then my license couldn’t be use anymore which means I have to attend driving lesson and get exam again!

No way!

Please, lucky god must be with me and let me renew my license tomorrow without any penalty. Bless me...

My sisters

I really can't wait even a second to have fun with my lovely gal friends especially my sister LAURA 21st birthday on this coming soon 21st April.

Guess what!? We planing a Kuala Selangor trip for her birthday celebration.Happy!

This is my first time to have a journey with her and hopefully everything run smoothly and nothing happen until the fun time.

By the way, I really wonder how are them doing recently.

Some times I feel like want to stay with them even though we don't have anything to gossip.

And I really feel good on it because we know each other quite a long time and I never have any secret with them, just like a person with naked body, lol!

I think they will live in my heart forever even though I might abroad someday and separate with them.

Still, they are the one I always care in advance, never change.

Here is my little hope to wish them enjoy their life with target and open their heart to experience things they never try.

Really miss them a lot than I expected.

Well, I will follow up this topic again after the journey, okay?

Going to finish my romantic novels this whole week, thanks my babe Fann to lend her precious collection! LOL

*Ciao*

Done!

I just completed my assignment third quarter final draft.

Now sending to Turnitin to detect plagiarism contented.

While waiting for the Turnitin result to show out, I got a little free time to update my blog.

*lol*

This is my first time to done my assignment one week before due date.

I have to make it consistent and no last minute work again.

Hopefully I can maintain to stress myself accomplish the assignments as early as possible.

No more procrastination allowed even though I can find a lot of excuses to delay my work.

I can make it!

Today's hard time for my future own good! I believe it!

Aza Aza Fighthing! (means work hard in Korean)

None stop reading

Keep reading for few days in case study research. So so so boring! I woke up 10.50 am this morning then went my friend's lodging house to talk about the case study analysis part. I really headache to search an appropriate theory to apply in my study summore the reader content damn hard to understand, sigh... Still, I must continue to finish it before the assignment going to due and guess what, I left 10 days to complete it and there got the other assignment and two presentations waiting for me behind. Rush rush rush!

*By the way, today is a good day to study. The weather is pretty good and less heat.*

Love never far away from me

Seriously I am quite stress since my dad get stuck in his career.

He has been own a food stall in Damansara for few years but since the day rebuild new government, my poor dad is not allowed to continue his business as a food provider at the certain place.

There have total 6 stalls in the particular area. Just same with my dad, the other stall owners are prohibited to corporate their business as well. The new government disapproved them to renew the licence and continue to corporate the stall. Environment hygiene issue is the reason for them to get rejected for licence renewal.

Since the stalls are located nearby residents living area, some of the residents complained about inappropriate managed of rubbish caused environment pollution. Therefore, the government intended to switch the stalls to other places for them to run their business.

However, those places provided by government are not appropriate to corporate a business and earn enough income. Those places are less customers and not much crowd to visit. How can those hawkers carry the whole family by only earn the little amount of income? That's not fair for the stall owners by simply drove them away to other places.

Government should provide a win-win solution instead of just leaving those hawkers to face the trouble alone but the residents are satisfy of it in contrast. The government can solve the problem by set out rules and regulations for those hawkers to follow so they can continue to stay perhaps? And those regulations can be well satisfied by residents too.

However, we couldn't change anything because we don't have the authority to change the decision, that's what-so-called "reality".

So far my lovely dad renting a stall in Manjalara there, but the business not as good as previous time. His short of income directly influence my financial as well because he is the one who keep paying me rental, book fees and living fees. Without him, I hardly live my life here as a permanent student.

Hence, I force myself to pass my days with a limited budget and search some part time job to get some pocket money. I can fully understand the feeling of people living in poverty and they couldn't buy things they like, they never know how does Haagen-Dazs tasted, and always worry about when the rental is going to due.

Due to the limited time to for me to study and doing assignments, I quited the promoter job in Sri Hartamas. Yeah, I get more time to study but I have to come back to the income issue again. I am tired, really tired.

One day I post a shoutout in my MSN, "Who can I find when I get lost...Will someone find me if I disappear oneday?"

Seriously I just simply post it based on my mood that day and I never expect anyone will give me their feedback after they saw this shoutout, never ever. Perhaps I need some love on that moment that is the reason why I posted it I guess.

Surprisingly, my friends came and MSN me and what a coincident, their first sentence is "I will find you".

This is really touching my heart and I can feel their love on me. Sometimes a word or a hug can cheer up a person. It is really works on me! Their love makes me tougher and stronger to pass my daily life as a no income student.

Just wanna to conclude my sentence here, I get the love deeply from you all my dearest friends, thanks so much to find me if I disappear. I love you guys!

Professional chef in the house

I enjoy the process in cooking, especially with my housemates. Previously I not really interested in cook due to the pointless cook for my own. Luckily my housemate moved in then we can cook together and discuss about recipe and ingredients expenses. I would like to say thank you to her, Yuritna. Thanks for sharing your cooking experience with me all the time so I can cook to the person I care and love.

2nd Year, 2nd Semester

Well, so far I am taking Mass Communication Degree majoring in Media Studies. I guess there have lots people not really familiar with Mass Communication course.

Let me explain here briefly. Mass Communication is an art course and some of the units require creative thinking rather than logical. For example, we study advertisement, film and creative strategy. Those subjects have to come out with a new idea from what people already know.

For instant, drive safe campaign advertisement(I just attended to listen the speech in class last week). As we all know not wearing seat belt might cause to death when accident happened. But, how many of them are really care about it? There only have a low percentage of people died by not wearing seat belt. Therefore, government organization provides some advertisement to educate people and create their awareness on drive safe campaign.

Well, come back to the advertisement again. Students are taught to think creatively such as advertisement that educate public on immediate consequence by not wearing seat belt (death) instead of keep persuade public to wear it while driving.

There are so many of my friends not really understand what kind of job can apply after took this course. Media has wide coverage and high influence on people. Medium such as print, broadcast internet are all related to media. I can apply any job which related to media no matter advertiser, broadcaster or public relation.

Previously I had high interested on production. I like to see people acting, and work as a team(have fun together, tired together). When the film has released to public, the feeling of excitement is hard to describe and couldn't replaceable especially the memorable experience during production.

However, work as production is really tough and tiring. It has long working period and less income, sometimes is really stressful when I couldn't achieve director's wants. Still, I love movies! And I will support my ex-teammates in my heart to produce more good films in local industry. Work hard!

So now,do you understand roughly what is Mass Communication course about?

New target in 2009

Seriously I have high expectation on making my life more fabulous this year. My 21-year-old time, how am I going to fully utilise it? Firstly, I would like to challenge things that never try before such as swimming, dance in a club, dress up like a feminine, etc.

A new image improvement is one of the targets as well. I want to get respect in my group instead of thinking I am still the one in previous time. Sometimes "yesman" is very tiring even though people surrounding me are pretty like my kindness characteristic. But, I believe everyone will agree on me, "we live for our life, not for others". Just say "NO" if I not willing to do it in an appropriate way to avoid hurting others. Perhaps I will pretend not hearing it? Any good suggestion on how to become "noman" when necessary?

Since don't-know-when I become a moody person. At the past time, my emotion is well controlled and never give temper to my friends even though I tend to do so. However, I begin to show my bad mood in silent way(not show my temper, just stop talking) instead of hide the feeling in heart.I guess is normal for people to have bad mood right? We are human, not machine.

So far I working as a part time promoter in Plaza Damas in every weekend for one month. My job scope is pretty simple by just giving out the free cereal bar sample to customer and promote goods for them. Mostly of them are high educated and living in upper class. The working environment over there is enjoyable even though I have to stand for 7 hours for the day. They are mostly polite and friendly.

I still remember last time I blocked the way accidentally while topping up the stock, after that I realised there has an European waiting for me behind. I quickly moved away but what made me surprised was his apologize of causing my inconvenience. That is what so called western culture which is different with our country. They are really polite and adorable. I quite looking forward on Mission 2020 as we are all living in high development country without racism, and people are well behaved and always act in manner way instead of "wei, tepi sikit lar". Work hard Malaysia, we can make it too! Malaysia Boleh!