Bad day in 2007

I never mad like hell before that, well, I did it today night which i thought it is a wonderful national day.

My little hope broken when i can't get to watch the fireworks because none of my friends want to stuck in traffic jam after watch the fireworks.

Okay, I just keep quite then to continue to join their next activity, barbecue.

If i found out that the barbecue is fun then i might change my bad mood that day.

Well, it wasn't fun and enjoyable at all! I rush like hell to buy all the stuffs with my girl friends because we have a little bit late and we are the organiser to manage the party.

The bloody phone ringing none stop while i driving the car and the dialogue is crap!



Miiu: Hello, what happen? (I assumed that one of my guy friend are going to ask me faster to come)

Mr. F : Hello, my FM got make a call to Vivian right?

Miiu: Huh!? What are you talking about? I am miiu lar! (They use to call me miiu)

Mr. F: Hello, my FM got make a call to Vivian right? Haha

Miiu: I don't know what are you talking, and i am driving now, bye.

Phone Hangs up!


That conversation made me even mad and the timing is not right if want to have a joke with me.

We 4 girls almost running in the shopping mall to get the barbecue stuffs as soon as possible.

In that moment, i am thinking why none of my guys friend want to call us to ask whether need to help or not but not waiting us to prepare everything for them? Sigh... I am tired.

Then we done everything nicely and the barbecue began!

I expected that the party is warm and everyone sit together and talk crap, joking.

In fact, not at all! I felt myself couldn't enjoy in that party all the time.

None of us to lead and some of them expect me to approach them. Well, I am not active in all the moment and i also hope someone can make a joke to me when i am tired to be active in make fun.

What did I get? Disappointed, frustrated and unhappy. I am not happy!


The even worst thing occurred upon me when I tried to drive my car back to my home after the freaking barbecue has ended up with "wonderful"!

My car has bang! And I am the person who bang my friend's house gate.

Fortunately, it is not serious though, my car is nothing and the gate too. But, my heart so pain and all my madness blow up in my mind! I can't control myself and now i think back the situation is @#$XYZ!

Stupid barbecue!I hate barbecue!

Lost

I am getting confuse for my life. I hate to make choices because I hate regret. I don know which path is important for me to get a good job in my future.

Which is my right path, I don't know. What does the society needs? I don't know. Everyday I am growing, the time machine not allow me to stop. I couldn't predict my future, start from now every choice i make is important.

But, which should I choose? Someone told me just choose something that you interested in and go a head to study and achieve it. In fact, it wasn't that easy at all, I have to consider what the society needs, was the course can make me succeed in future?

I have to figure out all those damn things which keep annoying me and stressing me. The deadline to make the choice is just around the corner, I need the decision to proceed my next step.

But now... I am still don't know what to do. Lost.

Alone

Alone is a Thailand ghost movie which will be coming up in the cinema and the directors are same with the Shutter's one.

I look up great to the movie of "Shutter" which i perfectly think that is the nicest ghost movie i had watched.

Today i went out with my classmates and lecturer to Mid Valley for the show of "Alone". The show was just available for a certain colleges to come and we are one of the selected colleges.

It also have the interview part to the both directors which is after the movie has showed. I am quiet excited during that day because i already desired to watch the movie "Alone".

I also can have a chance to meet the directors which are come from Thailand and they are the directors that I'm admire due to the movie "Shutter".

What I think for movie "Alone" is "surprise"!! I never think the result will be like that but it does occur in the movie for the end.

However, I am still prefer to "Shutter" than "Alone" although both are also nice and meaningful.

Food poison, perhaps?

I am keep vomiting after get out from the computer lab.

That day i have to do research to find a similar cases which related to my law case studies.

The first time I step in the room was nothing and everything alright.

However, the second time I step in the room, I never thought that i am begin suffered due to the smell in the room.

I even can't describe what does the smell is it. It occupied all over the room.

During that time i am rushing to get my research done so i don't care what the smell is it then straight away went in to the room.

After half an hour, the smell had become stronger and stronger and I began uncomfortable and want to vomit.

Then, a student said they need to use the class room and all of the student have to get out from the room.

After I went out from the room then i started vomit none stop. It's already 6 times I vomit in the day i guess.

I really feel so bad luck and frustrated.

Firstly, my scooter has broken.

Secondly, I am keep vomiting.

Thirdly, my sickness make me can't have the rehearses with my group members which that was the final meting for us.

Everything is occurred in the same day, what the hell!!

After I told my group members that i am not feeling well, I still have to walk back to my home for 10 minutes and it's really made me so suffered!

And even there has no one in my house when i need help.

I am getting exhausted and take out my phone to call my stupid brother.

He told me he is working and he ask me to get help from my housemate.

Then I called the house owner to bring me to the clinic.

During the half way going to the clinic and I vomit again. Luckily I got bring along the plastic bag if not I really can't imagine how mess will be.

The doctor suggested to give me an injection to prevent vomiting. After injection I can't have any foods and drinks within 45 minutes.

I really so suffered and straight away sleep on my bed after eaten the medicine. Poor thing.

Chill out

Last few weeks I really busy like hell and lost. I just finished my script and storyboard yesterday.

Now everything is under my control although I still got the law report which our group have to type out 40 to 50 pages and also multimedia presentation.

I feel like our group can cooperate well. Really satisfy when seeing my works have be finished one by one. *laugh*

Question marks area "?????"

I never thought that i am a useless person since i am born from my mother. Everything have the first time though. I started feel that i am too much of weaknesses until i have to force myself to admit that I really useless as in the family, and friend circle.

As in the family, I am spending too much money from my family for pocket money, rental, school fees, etc and I can't feel that I'm deserve it. It is not a really big deal though.

The second one, friends, sometimes I really want to stop all the friendship with my friends and just stay alone with my family and pets.

However, it just a temporary thinking for me and I really need friends in my life.

Sometimes friends will be your burden and you can't easily dump it as you like.

You have to take care and carry for them when they need your help.

When they are asking you for help and it will be inconvenience for you to help, so how?

Just refuse?

How to refuse by won't make people getting hurt?What an embarrassing and terrible situation for me!

There is another problem as well.

How did you create and maintain a friendship with friends?

Actually this problem is just occurred during my college period.

Have you ever curious why the friends surrounding you can easily make friends with others but you can't?

Started i will thought that my English is not as good as theirs so it should be the reason to obstruct the extension of my friend circle in college.

But, this thinking was proven inaccurate since i met a friend(called M) which I am assumed that M have the quite similar English ability with me.

M can easily make friends with others, she is friendly perhaps. I think am am too shy maybe, don't know.

I really need someone to tell me what is my problem, this already stressed me since I am stepped in college.

For the teamwork, one of my friends(A) said i have no problem with my attitude for doing the work together but another one(B) gave me a totally opposite answer.

It makes me so confuse most of the times and i don't know which should i believe.

B said i the main problem to me is because i don't know how to express myself.

Yeah, when i met a serious issue i really don know how to convey my message to others.

I don't have the confidence to make others listen to me and believe to my idea.

It can conclude that my English ability makes me scared to express myself.

English, what a challenging language for me, sigh.

Another reason is I might misleading or hurt other people when i fully express myself even i am not that mean.

Do you know how hard for a person if he/she can fully convey the message without hurting people?

It is hard for me, i don't know others though.

For example, today i want to join a group for my presentation assignment.

One of me ex-group mate asked me why I don't want to join the current group instead?

Then i just simply thrown out an answer which I don't know it is freaking wrong answer for her until the other ex-group mate reminded me.

I want to join them because they make me learn more and better even they had stressed me most of the time until I suspected myself if engaged with Melancholia.*Laugh*

I also found out that no other friends will speak English with me except them.

However, I worried that my answer will misleading her to think that I just want to "memperalatkan" her ability to get high mark so i didn't tell her my real answer.

Maybe one day i will not care how other people think about me and just throw out what I am thinking but I know it have to take a long time to make it which is totally against my natural characteristic.

Ipoh 1 day trip

Everything has happened too abrupt, just get a call then already in Ipoh tomorrow, unbelievable.

My friend has invited me to have a one day trip in Ipoh with the reason that she get the car from her family. The trip wasn't be planing but we also don't care, how dare us? *Laugh*

We have the total of four people to go. We went out at 8 something morning then came back around 9pm.


We are on the way to Ipoh.

The most memorable was the food over there. I ate none stop since I arrived there until I have an intention to throw out everything I ate, the food quite nice though, especially the egg tarts and the taufu hua.

Just came out from the oven,it's still hot.

The taufu hua so nice and sweet.

Then we went to the amusement park since we got the extra time. Over there got the "fake beach" and we can play volleyball as well. I like the park there which has gave the feeling of natural.I can sit on the chair and enjoy the sun light touch on my skin, the feeling so warm.

Do you feel the natural in the park?


We are in the "fake beach"

I think he is trying to catch the ball by his leg, we are not playing football lar~~~

The end of our trip is having a freaking nice seafood as the dinner. It was the first time for me to taste the oyster(have to add with the lemon juice) and a very long+big "lai liu ha", damn excited.

They(oysters) do look tasty right?

Another suprise is the bill though, really "dai chut huet". Anyway, it is worth for me to the day.

What a freaking bad weekend.

I am suffering illness right now and i can't concentrate to do my revision and homework.

The yesterday night i never slept well also, i had awake every single hour and even hard to fall in sleep again, too bad.

I thought i could enjoy my weekend,in the end though,poor thing.

Do people rather find their ex when they face trouble?

I have received my ex calling on midnight.

*Ring tone*

*The phone screen appeared my ex name*

Me: Hello.

Mr. L: Hello, are you sleeping?

Me: Nope, i am preparing to sleep, what happen?

Mr. L: Nothing lar, just want to chat with you.

Me: Are you sure? Must got something happen on you, just tell me.

Mr. L: My phone remaining no much credits so if the line cut off means my phone have no more credits.

Me: Okay, just tell me what happen with you.

Mr. L: No, nothing happen.

Me: I am doubt with it, you sure got something happen.

Mr. L: I have been rejected by Miss W(sound like so sad).

Me: What? Are you told her that you have feeling on her?

Mr. L: Yeah, but she said we just can be out going friends.

Me: Don be sad lar, just try again and wait until she fall in love to you. You already try your best and if you guys have fate then no need to worry for it. Just take it easy. Bla..bla..bla...(consolation)

*After 20 minutes more*

Mr. L: Thanks for your accompany, I'm feel much more better now. Wait a minute, why we already chat so long time but my credits still not finish yet?

Me: Maybe you are using friends and family service to call me.

*Line cut off*

This is not the original conversation though, I can't remember word by word for what we have chatted.

My point is, "do people prefer to find their ex when they face any problems"? If yes, why?

Do they want to get back with their ex? Or they just simply want to chat with their ex?

Do they lonely?

Do they have any intentions? Or not perhaps?

I have heard some cases from my friends about their ex phone calls but still cannot find out the consequence.I am so curious about it lar...

A night i shifted to another room

Yesterday i slept in my housemate's room,i had took quite a long time to fall in sleep because i not used to sleep in her room at night.

She came to my room borrowed my laptop because her laptop has brought to Singapore for her cousin and she need it to do her homework and watch her favorite anime(i forgot what is the name though).

During the night she keep asking me if i want to sleep but I said never mind because i also enjoy with my love story.That is a sad story but it has a happy ending.

She has started sleepy after sat in front the laptop for an hour more, so, she asked me whether she can rest on my bed awhile.

After that i online to meet my friends through msn. When i finished my chatting,i saw her meeting very cheerful with zhou gong already.

I don know whether i want wake her up or not because she looked like so tired. In the end i have a decision. This is my steps to wake her up(i know is so funny,but don't laugh).

Step 1: I off the light,if she wake up then i will ask her go back and sleep.

Step 2: I open the door and notice what is her response.

The final step: Close the door, if she wake up then i can go back to my bed and sleep.

In the end, she has no response for what i have done,so disappointed lar...She is really tired perhaps.

I have no choice then i went to her room and sleep.Sigh...

Birthday party

Next Wednesday is my friend's birthday so me and my friends are planing to organise a party for him on this Saturday .

The venue is
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in my HOUSE!!

My house was selected because I have never open a party in my house before. I also want to try to in charge a small birthday party even that is not my birthday.haha~~~

We got 3 people to in charge, included me. The total guests we have invited are 9 people, two of them said they will be very late though, so the accurate number is 7 people. Not bad but also not good enough, sigh.

We got barbecue and steamboat for the party,so i need to go pasar borong at midnight(the opening time at 1 am something) with one of my friends to get some fresh and cheaper seafood.

Pasar borong,what a most scary place i have been visited in my life. I will never ever go there again especially at midnight! When i arrived the destination, I began wondering is it i had going to a wrong place which is a guys country perhaps?

It is really shocked me when i saw a hundreds of guys in front of my eyes and even half of number of them are foreigner. They are all busy to take out their fish, prawn, etc to sell.

Normally the pemborong(what is pemborong in English?) are selling to those want to buy a lot of seafood but my friend's relative are working there so we thought we can buy a small quantity with a cheaper price.

However, everything has crashed because we are reached too early so my friend's relative has nothing to sell for us.She introduced us buy the seafood from her friend, i call him Mr. A lar.

Mr. A told us that we must buy at least 2kg each if we want, this is the rule in pasar borong.

Mr. A is quite busy on that time so me and my friend has bought 2kg prawns(15 bucks per kg) and 2 kg sotong (7.5 bucks per kg) with not enough time to think.

I really cannot stand on the place even 1 second due to the busy atmosphere(the place is occupied by people those are busy working and i have no place to stand) and the guys surrounding me.

After that, we almost want to run out from the terrible place.

*opened the car door*

*closed*

*locked*

gau dim!55 cao!

On the way to go home,I am so worry that if the prawns and sotong can be finished, and also the budget of money because we have spent 1/3 of money for only this two stuff .

I got a little bit regret to get myself involve in this event(cannot regret leh...how ah?),so many things to worry about, sigh...

My 5th semester.

I just started my new semester on this Wednesday. I really don't know why every time i start my school day i will full of excitement. The situation has begin since i am in kindergarten until now, so weird lar... Anyway, I want to be active and make more friends in this semester, woo!!

Most of my friends didn't attend the classes in the first day of school. Some of them ask me if can help them take attendance. In the end i didn't write their name in the attendance list b'coz the lecturer required our email address as well and i don't know what are their email add though.

I got three assignments of film studies subject, the pressure is coming again, hopefully i can do it well and trying to finished it without any arguments with my group members. I am always learning how to cooperate with people in a right way.

Holiday again...

It have been one month and more i didn't post anything in my blog. I just finished my final exam for radio production and having a vocation right now. Me and my family members will go to Redang on April, I am full of excitement because we have been a period of time didn't have a family trip. The organiser is my elder sister who are sponsoring a lot in the trip. I have to collect 200 bucks for the trip though.

Another good news for me is my classmate ask me to go Cameron Highland next week. I am quiet surprise for it because this is the first time i was asking a trip with my collage friends. Hopefully the both trips can be done with successful. I am waiting for it.hahahaha~~~

Friends

Have you ever have a very big gap with you friends? I did. This is the first time for me and i hope that will be the last time as well.

I am a person like to share, but i can't enjoy with them most of the times.I am trying to make myself with them but i am failed.Is it because we know each other not much or our background is difference or my fault?

I know the feeling of hurt so i am trying to prevent it with treat my friend nicely. In fact, you won't hurt people doesn't mean they won't come and hurt you. I knew that but i still can't hurt them back when i am getting hurt.

Anyway, i will try to make our friendship be better but not going to far away from them.

I can live without air-corn but not fan!

My fan has broken!

Malaysia as the hot country and i can't stand with a night sleep without fan. How can I pass tonight and now i am starting to sweat! Who can help me...Help...(Why no respond,so sad)

I just passed up my assignment and i decided to have a freaking nice sleep today.

Unfortunately, the stupid fan has broken and i just can looking at the fan right now and done nothing.

Someone can tell me what should I do...I have no idea now. The raining season has stopped so tonight would not going to rain.Now even I can't feel any wind blow, poor thing lar...

What a suffer night today.

Wu...Wu....Waaaaaa...

Eye on Malaysia

Last Friday i wanna to stay in my student house and even not decided to go back my home town.

I realise that i am getting tired to go back my home town and hang out with my high school friends every weekend.

I felt guilty to my parent because i not much accompany them and i spent most of the time with my high school friends.

Then I plan to go back to accompany my family every weekend and maybe hang out with friends once or twice per month.

However, some happen make me feel dilemma is i can't reject my friends' invitation and i want to accompany my family as well!!

For instant, last Friday they invited me go to Titiwangsa because Eye On Malaysia was built for tourism purpose in 2007. I am not interested at all and even not decided to spend my 15 bucks for sitting on that "thing" just 10 or 15 minutes.

I can watch movie two times in cinema which cost 12 bucks(student price 6 bucks per show).The rest of $$ i can buy a beverage too.

Then i told them i will not go with them and i need to do my homework in my student house(i just simply pick a reason to show i am busy).

One of them has replied me "everything has planed wor..."(sound like pity). I am thinking if i reject to go then i will break their plan(I hate myself can't be selfish!!).

I have no choice so i just follow them go to Titiwangsa. I knew that they are expecting me to make fun(my character with them is making fun).

On that time I was forced to go and i have no mood to have fun at all. My mind has thinking if i keeping be quiet the atmosphere will be bad.

I started pretend myself by showing excitement most of the time but not going to tell them i am not willing to visit Titiwangsa actually.

After i went back to home i feel so comfortable and nice!

They are my best friend and i really so enjoy to have fun with them(is true!!).In my mindset is I am willing to hang out with them but not often as before. Everything is different though after i staying in PJ and they are not even know.

Never ever hang out with the person you dislike!!

I was hang out with two of my high school friends at night. Though that was a raining day but it doesn't made me feel no mood to go out and i have a happy meal with them.

After having our dinner is around ten something. Since the time still early, we hang out with another group of friends.

That was the worst gathering for me in my life!!

I know him during my high school and i called him as Mr. K. Actually i am ok with him but he has a very negative thinking of me. He had critic me before with my friends then one of them told me the happen. He said i am a very talkative person and he don't like i always talk too much in front of him. He said he won't fetch me the second time again because i am too annoying.

What's wrong for a person like to talk?? Yeah maybe i really talk too much on that time but it doesn't mean i am a bad person ok....And he should not determine what kind of person am i from his first impression.

After i known he not willing to be friend with me then i also didn't bother about him. He also study in the same college with me now!!!

During the night we yam cha then i felt he is insulting me most of the time. I hope that i am too sensitive but my feeling told me that he really done it.

I get mad of him on that night is also related to a person called Mr. B.

Mr.B is Mr.K best friend but he also is my friend since my high school. I treat Mr.B so nice because i felt that he is a very nice person. I so care about Mr.B but i always clarify that i just treat him as my special friend.

Mr. B has a girl friend recently but Mr.K told me the girl is playing around Mr.B and Mr. K want to let Mr. B realize that problem.

I started worry about Mr.B then Mr.K suddenly ask me don't intend to chase his best friend and his sound like giving me a warn!!He even keep warning me! I never said i want to chase his friend wat, what the hell he is talking about!! He is no authority to give me a warn ok... He thought who is he?? He is nothing!

That's why i am feel damm mad right now!! i hope that i won't see him anymore if not i will get mad again!!